#27: Belonging.

Belonging. To what do we belong? Do we really understand that to which we belong?

How much do we need to understand in order to accept membership?

I reckon that sincere acknowledgment of my humanity, the kind of acknowledgment that I feel with the part of me that I can’t see, is all that is needed for me to accept the invitation. I can figure out how things work later.

For belonging the feeling leads, not the knowing.

#26: Ship.

Ship. Perfect is the enemy of good. Enough diligently produced ‘good’ eventually yields ‘great.’

#25: May vs. Can.

May vs. can. Whom may protest? In this country (the United States of America), the Constitution gives every citizen the right to peaceably assemble and petition the Government for a redress of grievances. Every citizen may peacefully protest and police are required to enforce this supreme law.

But in practice, it is evident that the nature of the grievance and hue of those petitioning determine the perceived legitimacy of the assembly by law enforcement. Not every citizen can peacefully protest in peace.

#24: Reverence.

Reverence. It’s not about religion. There are things about this life that require pause and attention. Maybe also surrender.

It’s about the understanding that comes from stillness and being. Or the unexplainable connection that comes from meeting a child’s gaze. Or the perfection of nature. Or the awe of beauty.

#23: Exhale.

Exhale. We do it all day without second thought. The reverse as well.

But sometimes the most important moments of the day are when we focus on the exhale: acknowledge, release, surrender, persevere, double down.

Take a moment to check-in and be deliberate about one of those things.

Then keep going.

#22. Blue Snow King.

Blue snow king. Having to work for it makes the experience more satisfying. Imagine eating crab lab meat without having to break the shell to get it. Meh.

We sometimes forget that easier isn’t always better.

#21: Drip by Drip.

Drip by drip. Sometimes we are taken aback by the mental and emotional challenges of the day. They can hit like a ton of bricks out of nowhere. It may feel like a setback but the pivots and work required to recover are necessary building blocks that wouldn’t have been discovered otherwise.

Maybe the productivity curve plateaued for the day but we’re still moving in the right direction.

It’s still progress.

#20: Skills.

Skills. With each chapter (or even sub-chapter) of our lives we take stock of our deficits and choose which of them to address. There isn't capacity to address them all at once. But each step of the way, as we sell ourselves over and over to climb the next rung of whatever we're chasing, we are encouraged to profess the deficits we've conquered; to put them on display.

Of course, they aren't framed as former deficits. They're framed as skills. Some hard. Some soft.

But it behooves us to clearly define and articulate our skills for ourselves first. Let's take it further: the long journey of becoming is better served and more delightful when we approach it with a sense of wonder and curiosity rather than seeing a mountain full of deficits to conquer.

Let our skills simply represent the discoveries of exploration, not the spoils of war.

#19: Decomposition.

Decomposition. The process by which complex forms are broken down into their simpler constituent parts.

Not the process that brings to mind decay. Rather, the uplifting and encouraging idea of breaking down the complex into the simple.

I can understand the simple. I can wrap my arms around it and examine it. I can critique it and play with it. I can learn it. Then I can do the same thing with other simples and eventually discover the adjacent possible between them.

When I finally put all the simples back together, I know.

#18: The Process.

The process. If we worry too much about knowing the answer or outcome from the beginning, we may be missing the point. Or worse, we may not even start for fear of not knowing. Yes, the weight of responsibility can be heavy and the perception of knowing may provide comfort. But don't forget that we can never truly know; 2020 is a testament. In fact, we may not be ready for the answer until we do the work of laying the foundation.

Instead, state your intention and a clear goal. Then just start. The middle may be gray and let that be okay.

What's the first step? Make it small. Then show up with diligence, work drip by drip, and the path will reveal itself.

Surrender to the process and trust in the abundance of life.

Here we go...

#17: Something Useful.

Something useful. This is always my hope of the words I speak to an audience. The setting, topic, and people mix give me the levers with which to play. But mostly I must pay attention to my heart and trust that my perspective has value. It's a daily practice.

#16: Belonging.

Belonging. It comes at a price. There are certain expectations to meet and maintain in order to belong and keep belonging. Conformity. Sometimes not belonging can be liberating when conformity isn’t even an option for lack of birthright.

Embrace the liberation and be something new for all to behold.

#15: Weight.

Weight. At what age do some cares of the world need to be explained to a child?

There is a point at which carefree oblivion (pure wonder) transforms from essential to a child's creative development and sense of security in an unknown world into a threat to a child's ability to navigate, contribute to, and find purpose in that same world.

That point is different for each child, so knowing, protecting, and guiding are where parents' work lies.

#14: Tradition.

Tradition. Something old; something new.

We should cherish and preserve the traditions that bring forth the wisdom earned over thousands of years of life of our species. They are being lost in favor of modern medicine and technology. But we still need to sit on the floor as we always have. Babies can't learn to walk if they don't spend a lot of time on the floor. Adults lose the ability to walk when they don't do the same. Recliners be damned.

New traditions combine modern practices with old wisdom to keep the species evolving. Cheers to baby and me yoga.

#13: Value.

Value. A calibration that is both externally relative and internally absolute. There is often a direct (as opposed to inverse) relationship between our internal sense of value for a thing (e.g., cooking well) and the value that is placed on us for that thing (e.g., being asked to share a successful recipe). Perhaps, taking the time and being deliberate enough to evaluate the quality of our contributions to the world results in more thoughtful application of those things. As the saying goes, what we focus on expands.

But the level to which we can commercially and emotionally benefit from our external value depends on another factor: the value placed by our culture on that which we contribute relative to other kinds of contribution.

The photograph of a pretty person dressed in coveted clothes at just the right time and place fetches a significant dollar amount: high commercial value, low connection value.

A nursery school teacher broadens a child's sense of wonder and curiosity: low commercial value, high connection value.

A high-selling fragrance line produces scents that speak to its customers' sense of luxury, whimsy, and belief in artisanally-produced sustainable botanicals: high commercial value, high connection value. That's the holy grail.

#12: Peace.

Peace. There is a delicate line that maintains the divide between peace and strife. We all teeter that divide in short term affairs because of the fickle nature of emotions. The choice between living on one side of the divide or the other for the long term comes down to how well we can see past our emotions and do the hard work of connecting with another person through empathy.

#11: Woke.

Woke. There is a sweet book that encourages children to be proud revolutionaries. The message is uplifting and universal. The child depicted as the subject of the book is black. Is the book now only for black children? A white man whose two year old child picked up this book at the bookstore told her that the book is not for her. Is he right?

I am of two minds. I believe there are issues and triumphs of blackness that are ours to sort and capitalize on exclusively. And because we are people, we live a human experience that is universal and inclusive.

Pride. Justice. Dreams. Joy. Determination. Opportunity.

Aspirations for every child.

#10: Magic.

Magic. It is incredible to me to observe my baby watching Sesame Street with focus and delight, only to alternately look at and turn away from with indifference any other cartoon wanting to hold her attention. I am witnessing the result of 50 years of practice that has transformed mere skills into something magical.

#9: Body Series: Eyes.

Body Series: Eyes. My eyes are meant to see beyond looking. They try to notice what you intend for me to see and what you don't. To connect with you is my intent. I see you.

#8: Body Series: Hands.

Body Series: Hands. My hands are for creating and nurturing and connecting. An enlightening presentation or white paper. A nutritious stew. A comforting caress. An engaging handshake. Never to bring harm or do damage. Please, never.